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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23864473">A Year After</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonsandstrawberries/pseuds/lemonsandstrawberries'>lemonsandstrawberries</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame, Steve is there for Him, a year after endgame, tony didn't die after he made the snap</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:13:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,270</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23864473</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonsandstrawberries/pseuds/lemonsandstrawberries</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A year has passed since Tony made the snap and he is doing good. During day time. During night time, his demons wake up.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Steve Rogers/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>106</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Year After</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>just me again. just still grieving losing Tony Stark a year after <i>Avengers Endgame</i> premiered. just this time I wrote something happier. hope you will like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tony was having a dream. It wasn't a good one. Buildings were collapsing with an overwhelming roar, the air was heavy with dust, and there was only destruction as far as he could see. He was in the middle of it all, broken and defeated, the right side of his body burning with raw fire, melting his armor off, and scorching him to the bone. </p><p>Steve was there too. Not in the dream, but by Tony's side, observing him in his sleep. The way Tony's face contorted in pain, the droplets of sweat appeared on the forehead. The heartbreaking part was that he couldn't do anything. Tony had to wake up on his own, his mind having to fight another battle and process that everything he was seeing already happened and was in the past. If Steve forcefully pulled Tony out of his nightmare, it would end in an ongoing panic attack and that would be much more difficult to stop than comforting Tony once he would wake up. They both learned it the hard way and agreed it would be the right thing to do, even if it was the worst for Steve - to be so close and not be able to ease the pain. </p><p>Suddenly, Tony sucked in a deep breath, eyes snapped open. He tossed the covers, jolting up in the bed, his instincts telling him to run.</p><p>"Hey, hey, babe, it is okay," Steve followed, sitting up, and putting his hands up in a calming position when Tony turned to him, looking haunted. "Tony, it is me. You are with me, in our bed, everything is okay."</p><p>Tony was shivering and panting. He pressed his hand to the right eye, letting the left one focus better. The tissue damage, spreading all over his right side and up to his face became pinkish in color with time, angry colors fading away. A year ago, Tony didn't lose only his arm. The damage went deeper, affecting the optic nerve, and gradually, Tony was losing sight in his right eye. It was progressing and he could still see blurs and shapes and recognized colors, but no details. There was no way to tell how long until he loses his vision completely. Tony didn't seem to be bothered on most days. A couple of scars, an amputated arm, and partial blindness - that was a small price in comparison to being alive.</p><p>Tony's shoulders sagged down, his posture relaxing, deep breaths hearable in the quiet room. It was all in his head. Just another nightmare. Tony closed his eyes and let his body fall back on the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight.</p><p>"Sorry," Tony apologized, rubbing his face, trying to get the unsettling, cold feeling out of his mind. "For wakening you up."</p><p>Steve watched Tony with soft eyes. The way his chest still heavied with every panicked breath, the slight tremble of his hand. Some nights were harder than others and Steve understood it all perfectly.</p><p>"You didn't wake me up," Steve smoothly lied, turning the night lamp on, the soft glow dispersing the darkness around them, just in time for him to catch a shadow of a disappearing snicker from Tony's face. Of course, Tony didn't believe him. They both knew better, but Tony should also know that Steve didn't mind. </p><p>"Do you need anything?" Steve asked, scooting closer and Tony shook his head, eyes focused on the ceiling. "No? No water, maybe a painkiller? Do you want your meds?" He continued asking, all gentle and respectful of Tony's space.</p><p>"I am fine, Steve," Tony said, trying to sound neutral, but his body tensed and voice became a bit heavier. Every time, Steve brought up Tony's meds, Tony became unnecessarily upset. Steve knew that his boyfriend was a proud man, but there was no shame in taking care of your mental health and Steve saw Tony neglecting that part of himself. Physically, he was doing great, learned how to live with a prosthetic arm, the loss of sight wasn't stopping him in any way. His mental health was a different story though. There was no good time for this talk, and Steve waited way too long already to initiate it.</p><p>"Babe," Steve started, trying to keep the frustrated tone out of his voice, "if this is bothering you, maybe you need to go to the doctor again, get some new medication for your sleep-"</p><p>"Steve."</p><p>Steve stopped talking, feeling Tony's hand closing around his wrist. The grip was tight, holding to him with some kind of urgency.</p><p>"Please."</p><p>Some things had to wait. Steve lay down, letting Tony hide into him, both hands wrapping over his boyfriend's trembling body and caressing his back. </p><p>Slowly, Steve started to let go, the simmering anger going away. He still was firm in his belief that Tony needed some new medication, something that would allow him to sleep through the night without nightmares interrupting, but holding Tony in his arms was soothing for both of them. Warm, alive, breathing. A year ago, Steve thought that he had lost him. People stronger than Tony were affected by the consequences of using the Infinity Stones yet Tony proved to be the strongest of them all. A regular human, with no additional powers, just a man in a high tech suit he had designed himself. Steve didn't know he could be so proud and so worried about someone, all at the same time.  </p><p>"Just for the record," Steve whispered, gently scratching Tony's back, up and down, feeling that he was becoming sleepy once more, "we are not done with this talk."</p><p>Tony snorted, the sound vibrating against Steve's chest. "I know."</p><p>Steve laughed too, squeezing Tony a bit harder, just to make a point and enjoying the little squeak of protest. "You are lucky you are so cute."</p><p>"Still?"</p><p>Steve's hands stopped moving. That was not supposed to happen. Such thoughts were forbidden. Tony stayed curled into Steve, unsure what the next move would be and what he had brought on himself.</p><p>"Babe, look at me."</p><p>Reluctantly, Tony did. Steve was looking back at him, blue eyes seeing him and only him. The almost blind eye. The scarred skin. The missing arm. The scar in the middle of his chest. A broken man.</p><p>Gently, Steve put both hands on Tony's cheeks and leaned in closer, intimating a chaste kiss. Slow and sweet and pure, their lips moving together. No hidden intentions behind, just pure affection and admiration. The kind of kiss that could heal all the wounds. </p><p>When their lips parted, Steve leaned his forehead against Tony's, staying close, their bodies almost fused together. </p><p>"Always," Steve answered, looking at his boyfriend with all the love he had for him. Tony felt a little dazed, not knowing how to handle all those feelings, so he did the thing that seemed the most familiar to him.</p><p>"Ugh, gross," Tony grimaced, sticking his tongue out in disgust. </p><p>Steve laughed, loud and cheerful, not expecting anything else. Also, Tony should already know the consequences of such rude behavior, and Steve easily flopped his boyfriend on his back and climbed at Tony pressing more kisses to his face and blowing raspberries on the skin.</p><p>"HAA! Stop! Steheheve! I have only one arm to defend mysehehehelf!"</p><p>Steve kept grinning with joy and didn't plan on stopping anytime soon. He definitely didn't want Tony to get his prosthetic arm, not only because then Tony could easily kick Steve's ass, but because in Steve's eyes, Tony was already perfect and worthy of love, just the way he was, in this exact moment.</p>
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